Ardh Satya

Chakravyuh mein ghusne se pehle,

kaun tha mein aur kaisa tha,

yeh mujhe yaad hi na rahega.

Chakravyuh mein ghusne ke baad,

mere aur chakravyuh ke beech,

sirf ek jaanleva nikat’ta thi,

iska mujhe pata hi na chalega.

Chakravyuh se nikalne ke baad,

main mukt ho jaoon bhale hi,

phir bhi chakravyuh ki rachna mein

farq hi na padega.

Marun ya maarun,

maara jaoon ya jaan se maardun.

iska faisla kabhi na ho paayega.

Soya hua aadmi jab

neend se uthkar chalna shuru karta hai,

tab sapnon ka sansar use,

dobara dikh hi na paayega.

Us roshni mein jo nirnay ki roshni hai

sab kuchh s’maan hoga kya?

Ek palde mein napunsakta,

ek palde mein paurush,

aur theek taraazu ke kaante par

ardh satya.

Once upon a time loyalty, honesty and sincerity were the only pillars of strength of any relationship. But today they are rusted virtues and forgotten values. They are more or less on the verge of extinction and dying a dog's death since no body wants to adopt or embrace them any more.

I pity mankind.

Hypocrisy, diplomacy and true friendship can never walk hand in hand. They can never co-exist. Only one of them has a right and scope for survival.
- SK

".... it's those small things man !.... it's how you treat me " ....

her voice trembled as she spoke and tears rolled down her now red cheeks.
That guy wasn't worth her love.

Broken Promises

Promises are meant to be broken my dear ! May be. But to break a promise is to break a heart. To break a promise is to break someone's trust and splash water on their expectations. It is to blow off a candle of hope. It is to shatter their dreams and disrespect their love. To break a promise is to ridicule a relationship and put it to shame. It is to take someone for granted and tamper with their emotions. To break a promise is to kill someone's faith in you. It is to let them down.

Even more hurtful is someone making promises time and again and breaking them as easily as they ever made.

... earn your bread
... eke out your living
... satisfy your needs
... take initiatives
... voice your views
... back your decisions
... script your success
... win your arguments
... fight your own battles
... bear your own burdens
... single handedly crush your enemy
... stand alone in the face a storm
... protect your ego
... never compromise on your dignity
... safe guard your interests
... sooth your destroyed soul
... balm your broken spirit
... suffer in silence

Rise to the occasion and see yourself through all times..... on your own.

Time

Two people waited eagerly near a bus station. When the bus arrived, they boarded nervously... lost in their thoughts. Sitting next to each other, they kept checking their watches. The first one was getting delayed for a meeting so he prayed for the bus to start early. The second one was flipping through his cheat sheets for an exam and prayed for delay.

God appeared and said he would oblige none, to which they questioned him -why !

He looked at the first one and replied... " you should have started early..."

Then turning to the second, he said...." you should have prepared before hand instead of waiting till this last minute ..."

Disappointed, both men continued in silence. The first guy felt time was stagnant like water in a still pond while the other felt it was slipping like sand in-between fingers.

Answers need not be in the form of direct replies always ! They can be indirect too... in the form of a situation sometimes, which God is a master at creating. So as to teach them the value and importance of time, he slowed it for the first one and stole if from the second.

Time can be rewarding. But it can also be punishing. Time is like a mirror reflecting our thoughts. What we see is what we get and vice versa. It behaves in a way we perceive it and acts in a way we interpret it. Time is dynamic and a constant both at the same instance. More importantly, time is relative.

There in lies it's beauty.

Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.

- Anais Nin

How beautifully said ! Yes, every friendship should help us explore a new dimension in us which we weren't aware of. Any association should be mutually constructive. It should lead us to many beautiful things in life.

Like the old saying goes.... we are judged, interpreted and more importantly 'respected' by the kind of people we associate with. Hence, one should learn to be careful and wise in choosing. Otherwise it may not teach us anything new and deny us some important lessons in our lives.

Every friendship should have a meaning.

For the fear of hurting people, I cannot voice my opinions. For the fear of going mad and insane, I cannot contain them either ! For the fear of paining them, I cannot express my heart's discontent. For the fear of being called a pin pointer, I cannot correct them always. For the fear of losing their beautiful smiles, I cannot mourn everyday disappointments. For the fear of being labelled immature, I cannot complain always.

I want to be set free from these chains. I want to fly high and enjoy some freedom. A freedom which is a result of not being torn between uncertainties and extremities. A freedom which results from a relaxed state of mind and purity of thought. A freedom which is a by product of being happy and content with what ever is offered on the plate. A freedom which is a result of lack of pain or any complain.

Life is an illusion and so is this freedom I am craving for. I am not sure I can achieve it. I am not at all optimistic I can feel liberated ever.

But I will still close my eyes..... and pray for one last time.

If every other man she speaks to, starts fancying his chances by taking liberties and crossing his limits without any ethics, and behaves as if he owns her and feels as if she is in love with him, it surely exposes the woman's lack of self discipline and will power in overcoming fallacies while dealing with men.

The way a woman behaves with men reflects her code of conduct. When she fails to control herself or them by not demarcating boundaries, it points out at her loosely knit principles and shows her carelessness. It definitely speaks something about her whole make up and raises doubts about her seriousness and commitment.

Above all, it strongly questions her character. Such women neither earn nor deserve any respect.

The final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.
Anne Frank

The way you smile
makes my heart flutter.
The way you look
melts it like butter.
"I love you..."
poor thingy can't utter.

Every acquaintance cannot be called a friend. Neither can every friend be given the status of 'best' or 'close'. The transition from one level to another is gradual and time consuming. Faith, trust and patience are our initial capital investments. When emotions are shared, bonds are formed. When ideas are exchanged, mutual growth occurs. When point of views are aired, respect is earned and opinions start to count. When feelings turn deep, love blossoms. When sensitivities are understood, the souls connect and their alliance turns divine. This is how a friendship or for that matter any relationship evolves. One cannot rush into it. If one does by giving it a name, then it's doubt worthy.

For any friendship to blossom, a pinch of attraction and an ounce of magic are vital ingredients. Only then can it's fragrance be mesmerizing. Consistency is utmost important for them to thrive and transform from ordinary to beautiful.

Friendships happen. They are not planned and neither is there time for confirming facts or examining details. People necessarily don't have noble intentions always. Hence, one has to be careful while signing up for new bonds. Randomly running into people, getting excited in heat of the moment, singing songs of praise and declaring them as 'sweet' and 'nice' is definitely not the way ! The longevity and equilibrium of such an equation becomes questionable. A strong foundation of highest quality is required to sustain the emotional rigours of/in any friendship. It is investing in a lost cause otherwise and hurting our self if any gray areas are exposed.

When our threads of trust and belief are severed, we deny ourselves a permission to restart. When our eyes are laced with ribbons of doubt and uncertainity , we deny ourselves an oppurtunity to meet a genuine person and forfeit a potential friendship.... a beautiful relationship.

Women have a genetic disorder. They turn unthankful after their problems are solved and issues resolved. Men have a disorder too, that of continuing to be selfless in their help towards women.

Bumble's Love Story

There lived a Bumble bee who spent his days happily- drinking to his heart's content, singing and roaming all around the garden. He was innocent and seldom understood the strange ways of this world. His friends envied his handsome and attractive looks.

One day he came across a beautiful flower and fell for her. Daily he would pass through the same route to get a glimpse of her unfolding beauty. Whenever their looks locked he smiled shyly and she reciprocated. Their romance kick started. Days passed by and Bumble fell madly in love with her. Her mesmerizing smile and attractive looks captivated his heart. He turned a slave to her beauty and thoughts of her chained his mind. Bumble started dreaming and living in ecstasy. Daily he would sing her melodious love songs. In turn, she looked into his eyes as if she loved him. Bumble's feelings grew deeper. One fine day he mustered courage and decided to propose her. His friends warned him of the consequences but he did not heed to them.

That pleasant morning when Bumble went to express his love, he was shocked to see the flower missing. Minutes passed into hours, hours into days and days into months..... but his wait continued. She never returned. He bore a withered look. His adamance started fading and illusions started breaking. His dreams got shattered and all the deep love within his heart consumed him. Like a candle which is consumed by it's own fire. Melancholy gripped his thoughts and he died a million times before perishing. Little did he realize she left with the gardener who promised her a more colorful world where she would be admired and loved worth her beauty.

Everyone except Bumble knew the flower's destiny. On her part, she neither revealed it nor confirmed her love for him. She played with his emotions, raised false hopes and was responsible for his tragic end.

Why did she hide the truth ? Why did she look into his eyes as if she loved him ? Why didn't she stop him from falling for her ? Why did she shatter his dreams ? Why did she ruin his life ?....

Flowers are like that ! Heart within their hearts they nurture a secret wish- that of Bumble bees falling head over heels for them. They constantly seek attention of Bumble bees to confirm they are beautiful. Once all the games have been played and their desires fulfilled (at the stake of a Bumble's emotion), they long for the gardener to take them to a more appreciative audience. A flower 'plays it'.... and plays it cleverly till her beauty fades away.

This is the irony of life. Beauty exists, occurs or happens. But not before someone is deprived or made to pay the price for it.

Why would anyone bet money on Akash Chopra ? Sorry AC ! You are neither flashy nor flamboyant like your friend Veeru ! You bore people to death by playing out time. I agree you have patience unlimited to bear tantrums of the pitch and nautanki of the ball [cricket ball]. You do the donkey's work.... digging in over after over and grinding it all over and being there for your mate. Still no one bets on you ! They need an entertainer macha ! Someone who can sweep them of their feet making it an exciting affair. A la Afridi or Sehwag.

Learn to be charming and 'play' the game dude ;) Well... don't be too dejected. This blogger, I forgot to tell you, very much relates to you.

Sometimes :|

Classroom Comedy

3rd year, second semester as far as I remember in Machine Design class. On that fateful day, Abhi and me sat on first bench. Our 'like-like' maashtaru (Teacher in English...) was in full flow explaining machine parts. He had a peculiar style. For one part - Helical Groove, he spelt it "elkal groove..." (Elakalu means Rats in Telugu), a reason enough for what was to follow. Using the word 'like' atleast twice in every line earned him a nickname : Like-Like. His typical cartoon'ish expressions added to the comedy.

So, first bench : Abhi and me. For starters, it's ridiculously easy to make me laugh ! More so when it's all pin drop silence. Abhi exploited this weakness and started giggling. We looked here and there trying to distract and hold ourselves. I made funny faces while biting my lips. Like some fission reaction, it kept growing second by second... minute by minute. The weight of the situation forced poor Abhi to hang his head down, face the floor and laugh. Shoulders and arms comically vibrating in tandem confirmed he couldn't control it.

Nothing like holding a million bar pressure of uncontrollable laughter in front of a teacher. Agree ? ;)

As for me, my lips weren't fool proof either to stop it from leaking. All this annoyed Like-Like who threw the duster at Abhi. It shocked us but we continued giggling.

Don't blame me !! It is adding fuel to fire if one treats an undergrad like a grade-5 kid... throwing dusters and chalk pieces in such a situation. Lolll !!

"Go there and stand..." , he yelled.

Abhi stood near the left window, opposite to our class entrance. Like a Natwarlaal, I was busy hanging my head down now.

Turning to me, he shouted... " meeru... lechi vellandi...." ( you ! get up and go there !....)

I stood next to Abhi whose expression read, "god ! no more!". We giggled again.

I covered my face while he disappeared unable to control himself. I panned around to see him standing in the end behind me. Classmates with semi-laughing faces confirmed their thorough enjoyment.

I shamelessly grinned as if to declare : "mission accomplished !", and joined Abhi. Few more giggles followed.

Later, our Like-Like laughed too while noting down attendance... 'coz I smiled freakishly when my number was called. My class burst out now :))

"Don't do it again", he warned jokingly. Some memorable fun time and a happy ending.

Bava ( alias Abhi ) and me still can't get over it. Been some crazy six years or so to date, but we still laugh our asses off !

It is of utmost importance to be secretive and may be mysterious, and not reveal everything about yourself. People are like fishes- once fed to their heart's content, they forget and move on. Once they realize you are no more fun and exciting, you become a liability. Like a worthless constant in a differential equation. Love and sentimentality get diluted and romance fizzles out. You are taken for granted and there is no more caring.

You are suddenly equivalent to a dragging, insipid, predictable Ekta Kapoor's production house soap . It can be soul destroying sometimes to realize you are no more a priority but a mere option and also that you have been dethroned from a position of importance in their lives.

But that's the way it is in every walk of life.... you are good as long as you are a surprise and succeed in keeping people entertained ! Heh ! reminds me of my television watching days when a channel's TRP was at the mercy of my mood swings and fingertips.

When expectations start rocketing, boundaries start fading, limits exceeding and jealousy clouds deep love...... you question every intent and answers do not make you content. You demand more than your share, thinking its fine and fair. You forget every rule and behave like a fool. You start speaking logic and love loses it's magic....heart does not follow the mind and you have turned completely blind.

Talking about possessiveness, it is definitely a side effect of loving too much and .....
Period.

( pic courtesy: some random profile on orkut)

As far as the archives take us till near the birth of mankind, women have been the traditional torchbearers of our society. They have always lead us by example. Woman...the cause for our very existence. They are the backbone of our society, constantly anchoring and maneuvering it. Morals, rules, etiquette, schematic, frame work and its strong foundations have been laid by them.

From Savitris of the silver screen who epitomised the aadarsh naari to the new Rakhi Sawanths of today who bring utter disgust and make us feel sorry, there has been a metamorphic change thereby ruining the whole celebration; tampering and distorting their image by a considerable quotient. Does it mean to say we no longer respect or honour them ? No, we do ! But conditions apply. It's no more good ol' times.

Internet and social networking have erased a social barrier which has benefitted our society. But on the flip side, have done more damage. Today, people are ready to explore. More so, women. They are no more the strong characters like our previous generations. They are now "open" to everything blaming the bloody society and their pressure cooker situation for this change. This is only a tip of the ice berg. Plenty other things exist which we are not aware of. Even if we are, let's pretend we are not ! For good.

You talk about male chauvinism, eh ? What answers do today's naari have, to justify themselves ? Why blame only men for atrocities and misdoings ? Women have cooly over taken men in many negative aspects.

A friend of mine pointed I do not respect the fairer sex. For one, I do immensly. But not those who puncture all my good notions. Where from can I afford to ? Can you tolerate an unholy man ? Ditto !

A great deal of responsibility lies with them (including those who are committed), as few morals are being compromised. A lot of cultural shift has already taken place. It will only drift further, I fear. Raging tempers and uncompromising attitudes are being adopted and adhered to. Bloated egos are a common. Flirting shamelessly is quite normal. A chill runs down my spine thinking if in future my friends or me will ever get a dignified lady to share the rest of our lives with. More importantly a dignified lady with a respectable past !! Will my lady be worthy enough for me to take utmost pride in ? I can't say ! I am not sure !

It is beyond imagination how the future generations will behave. The sub-continent is good at aping and adopting the western culture. Woman's chastity is at stake. From where do they restart then ? Well, why not glance at our glorious past ? Take a leaf out from our previous generations - our parents and grandparents. Haven't they lead meaningful lives by being in their limits ? Didn't they have fun ? Haven't their husbands taken utmost pride in them ?

A strong woman not only leads our society by example but also repairs the egoistic man into one who respects and takes immense pride in whom he is associated with. Our previous generations have done it. We can too !

In the Ramayana, Lakshmana says:
Pita yasya shoochirbuto mata yasya pativrata
Oobhabhyamewa sambhutaha tasya no chalate manaha.

Meaning: "His mind will not be deflected, who is brought up by a father who is pure and a mother who is a Pativrata. "

We are not demanding Pativratas. All we want back is the glorious woman of the past. Is it asking more ?

War is cruel..... doesn't a soldier know it ?

Egos chain us..... the humble know it !

Society is unforgiving.....doesn't a culprit know it ?

Society is ruthless.....a victim feels it !

A word of caution... does your enemy announce it ?

A word of wisdom..... your friend shares it !

Chaos and confusion..... why can't people avoid it ?

Silence is a necessity..... the wise understand it !

Patience is vital.... do you have it ?

Perseverance is a virtue ..... the successful possess it !

Young are foolish..... don't the old know it ?

Old is gold ..... the young don't know it !

You are a hungry donkey..... doesn't mamma say it ?

You are an innocent monkey..... papa knows it ! ;)

To smile often..... why can't we do it ?

Sharing is a way.....children show it !

Art brings joy.....do the leaden know it ?

Pain co-exists..... this poet goes through it !

Together we were beautiful..... did we know it ?

We were made for each other..... they always said it ! :)

Heart break is painful.... who doesn't know it ?

Broken pieces can't be joined.... I learned it !

I long to see you.... can I ever make it ?

I want to kiss you.... how do I say it ?

I miss your beautiful smile..... when will I see it ?

I love you from the bottom of my heart... WHEN WILL YOU KNOW IT !

You were a very sweet friend I ever had, Thais. You were an angel. No one can replace you. You were beautiful. My heart is burdened with grief and eyes don't stop to swell in tears at the thought that you are no more. Your last mail...ironically speaks about life. I promise you and make sure I lead it the way your mail has asked me to. That's the little thing I can and wish to do for you.

Words cannot express my grief. Where ever you are I will remember you till my last. You are special. I miss you and love you very much !

May your soul rest in peace !

ThaiZinha Coli Somadossi
26th Nov 1987 - 9th July 2009

Mankind Is No Island

Men have an ego. Women have a responsibility towards it.

- Sudhama. K

poni poni pothe poni

satul sutul hitul poni

raani raani vosthe raani

kashtaal nashtaal kopaal taapal syapaal raani

kaani kaani !

gaanam dhyaanam haasam laasam kaani

kalaa ravi pavi kavi !

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pathitulaara bhrastulaara

baadhasarpadashtulaara

daga padina tammulaara

yedavakand-edavakandi

jagannadha radha chakraalosthunna-yosthunnayi...

radha-chakra pralaya dosha bhoomargam pattisthaanu

bhookampam puttisthaanu !

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vela kani vellalalo

leni poni vanchalatho

dari kani darulalo

kanarani kankshalatho

deni koraku pade pade devuladathav ?

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padavi vyamohalu

kula matha bhedhalu

bhasha dhweshalu... chalarege nedu,

prathi manishi mariokani dochukunevade.

tana soukhyam tana bhagyam chusukunevade.

swardhami anardha karanam

danni champukunte kshemadayakam !

Sthri Sthri

amma sthri aali sthri

ammala'ganna amma sthri

aadi shakti aparavataram sthri sthri !

aggi pulla lo kavitvam undanna sri sri

aa matram viluva lenidaa sthri ?

naakeduraina anubhavaname papam nuvvu kooda chavi chusava guru sri ?

I Secretly Hope..

.. that today is the day you will send me flowers for one reason.

Yours lovingly...

Hola ! Long time no see. Oh ! someone is lost in an unemployment sea. The big talk someone ( in kind reference to the legendary "me") did few seasons ago about software professionals seem to be statements made in heat of the moment. They couldn't walk the talk, i.e., become an ME till now. What an utter shame ! But, in the name of economy and it's death spelling crisis, let us pardon them of all shortcomings and failures.

All thanks to my stupidity and unplanned ways, there was an NJ fiasco too. Well, not a total disaster, but embarrassing enough to answer few questions. The biggest joke worth mentioning here is not being able to visit NY. Standing ovation please ! Thank you :-|

But I should also acknowledge VE's efforts in taking me round PA,VA, MD and NJ inspite of his hectic schedule.

Good, I didn't post a tear jerking, heart swelling farewell note here summing up all three years in CoMO and all that. Otherwise to visit my blog would have been equally embarassing and annoying.

About me....am okay ! Battling it out. No calls, no mails, lady luck not by side. But haven't given up. Victims of this economic crisis should take a leaf out of Gautam Gambhir's inngs in the recently concluded NZ series, and play out time. Half way through and another half to travel. Family and friends have been supportive. They are my pillars of strength. I owe them. I shall always be indebted to VE, Abhi, Chaitu, GPS. Dabboo,NS, NK,VSC and few others keep reminding me not to lose HOPE.

errr.... lost my train of thought (heh ! as if it ever existed !). Hitting the sack now. Quite drowsy. Shall write again soon.

Love.

What is a smile ?
It is your own life,
Which lights up your face,
Keeps the sorrow at one place .
Keeps all the sorrows burried
Why show you are worried.
Smile !! only Smile ! and Smile ...
Leave the worry far a mile.

- Sajju

:) cute !

Arrogance does not allow understanding. Adamance does not allow adjustment. Ego does not allow clarity.

- Unknown

Naina

yeh dard bhare naina
inhe kuch hai kehna.
tootey sapney aur khoye chaina
phir bhi kisike khayalon mein...

gum hai rehna.

armaaon ko hai sajal hoke behena
nahin ab iss dard ko sehna.

yeh pyaar bhare naina
inhe kuch hai kehna...
dhadkan ho tum humari
dil main yun sada rehna...

What do we fear the most ? I asked myself. Is it losing life ? No. Then is it losing everything we acquire over a period of time ? No either. Then what is it that we fear the most ?
It is losing people we love, one day.

Who knows ? A good chat, an interesting personality, a more beautiful person, a very intelligent one, someone more understanding, caring and giving, a someone more charismatic, witty and lovely may just be round the corner of the street to snatch away our loved one(s). This someone is always better in every trait and quality we possess, undoubtedly.

We constantly crave for a change. When relationships become stagnant and predictable, the desire to have that someone new is even more pronounced. Good people are always welcomed and should be. But new people also ruffle feathers of old tenants. There is a high level of competitiveness to consolidate our position and stamp our authority, presence and importance.

When we lose grip on competitiveness and when the natural drive to prove our worth is out of control it's a different game altogether. High sense of insecurities and a fear of losing take center stage which can prove caustic.

Insecurities when fueled by doubts lead to extreme possessiveness. Insecurity and possessiveness are good only in doses to assure we care, love, hold the same equations and that we are not letting off. Even an ounce in excess can sometimes be suffocating. Over dose can be spell death and severe the threads of belief, trust and faith. Insecurities and possessiveness transform us into a different being and distance us from everyone. It is scripting our self defeat.

How to counter insecurities then ? By doing little things, small gestures and surprises, injecting new ideas and taking a moment every day to realise that people whom we care for, love us even more and crave for us even more than what we do for them. Saying things like ~ I love you, you are the best, it's you, your opinion counts. Such assurances, if not totally, can partly act as insurance and keep demons at bay.

But knowing the human mind and deep love filled heart within hearts, even such kind of insurances are not adequate.

I told her seriously, "you are hot.....
.... when ever I talk to you, my laptop gets heated"

I had her in splits ;)

The world bursts at the seams with people ready to tell you you're not good enough. On occasion, some may be correct. But do not do their work for them. Seek any job; ask anyone out; pursue any goal. Don't take it personally when they say "no" - they may not be smart enough to say "yes".

- Keith Olbermann
Broadcast journalist and host of MSNBC's Countdown with Keith Olbermann.

So then, the stories are back [:D] ...and my smile too ! :)

I wish she was some 10-15 years younger and then I could have afforded to have a crush on her. Or may be I already do but don't want to admit ? ;)